the woman in the river shows me an axe of silver and asks if it is the one I lost. I respond that it is. she produces an axe of gold and asks the same question again. I shamefully look away, not sure whether I'm comfortable admitting that I was dual wielding
she stares at me in abject confusion as I take stock of my tools. a look of dissatisfaction brews on her face. "but why is one golden?" the woman asks.
I tug nervously at my coat, feeling the slightest bit insulted. "well, it's not cheap to have a matching pair," I tell her. "not everyone can afford two golden axes."
"why not two silver axes?"
"I had the money for one golden axe."
the woman crosses her arms. "but the gold is worse for everything you'd want an axe to do."
"it's not. it was more expensive and also really hard to find."
"gold" she says, "is softer than silver."
"it's literally not, though," I say. "that's a really common misconception, but pure silver is softer than gold."
"most metal sold as silver is actually an alloy. that axe is probably sterling silver. I don't believe for a second someone made you a pure silver axe."
I look at my axe, then back to the woman, then back to my axe.
"it was pure silver when it went into the river."
an unreadable expression. with a great splash, the woman disappears into the current.
for three days and three nights, I wander along the river's edge, hoping to find the woman again. I throw rocks, twigs, and once or twice a weird looking animal into the water. it's all to no avail.
on the final evening, I see a glint at the river's mouth. I run as quickly as I can, knowing I've finally found... oh for fuck's sake, it's just silver-plated. I lob the awful thing into the river with a huff.
"how can you tell?" asks the woman, peeking out of the water. "that could be the one you've lost."
"it's not."
"but you won't cut your losses and move on," she gestures wide, "one axe the richer?"
"that's too wide of a gesture for a cheap knick knack," I say, gesturing modestly in some approximation of how much I think the silver-plated axe is worth. the woman seems annoyed.
"I've been telling you, you have your real axe. the gold axe is the one that sucks."
"so what?" I spit. "are you suggesting I just use two cheap silver axes instead of my cool pure silver and gold axes?"
she groans. "I honestly would, man."
